Thursday 10 November 2011

The Ides of March - George Clooney (2011)


  1. The Ides of March is an ok political thriller directed by the actor George Clooney.
  2. It's a film about ambiguity: no one in it is quite what they seem.
  3. For instance, you might consider Clooney to be a likeable, bankable, but ultimately lightweight Hollywood star. But no, no, no, it turns out he's a director of worthy political thrillers starring fidgety actors' actors like Paul Giamatti and Philip Seymour Hoffman.
  4. George Clooney's face can sell anything, from Steven Soderbergh's Ocean franchise films, to proprietary brand coffee machines. This is a pretty weird state of affairs, and there's probably no-one who finds it weirder than George Clooney.
  5. Clooney enjoys a reputation for both intelligence and niceness. You can almost imagine him being embarrassed by the power of his face as an instrument of economic gain and this embarrassment registering as a certain wilful perversity in its deployment. It's like he's levying a kind of boredom tax on the use of his face. This, perhaps, explains why he often appears in complex, slow-moving films like Syriana, The American and Good Night, and Good Luck.
  6. You see, there was time, just after he left ER, when he might have been an action star: running around in a polo neck, shooting things, etc. Only then he started making films with Quentin Tarantino and the Coen Brothers. Maybe it was then that he realised clever films tend to privilege dialogue and cinematography over action, and perhaps this is why all his films feel like they've had the action systematically sucked out of them. The word that comes up a lot is restrained. The discovery of the body, the final argument between Gosling and Clooney are all studiously under done in this movie. Like a not-very-intelligent person who maintains a reputation for intelligence by not saying much.
  7. Ryan Gosling is great in this film. Sadly he doesn't stamp through anyone's face, but he does do some high quality flirting. The flirting is based largely on double bluff, which is one of the film's motifs. It's neat, like the way that when you break off a piece of broccoli it looks like another tinier piece of broccoli. Actually the scenes between Gosling and Wood are the best here, but then they're also the most reminiscent of Julia Roberts' scenes with George Clooney in Ocean's Eleven.
  8. Don't worry, Evan Rachel Wood was born in 1987, so she's not actually a teenager. But she is, technically speaking, 'the devil's candy'. The idea of a sexually confident 20 year old woman, raised on a diet of MTV and hardcore porn, is the modern replacement for the sexually submissive female lead of the past hundred years. But she's not a threat, because it turns out that the price of that sexual confidence is emotional instability, an abortion and then death (oops, spoiler, sorry). BTW, are we really expected to believe that she poons Gosling because she needs $7000? And that there is no-one else at all that she could ask? Come on.
  9. The screenplay is based on a play by Beau Willimon called Farragut North. The Ides of March is, as you well know, a quotation from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, a play that is synonymous with political duplicity and betrayal. But it also refers to a date, March 15th which is not slightly relevant to this film. It's almost as though they've chosen the most famous line in Julius Caesar, because quoting Shakespeare makes you look clever. Restrained? Or just strained?
  10. Ryan Gosling appeared in the Mickey Mouse Club for two years alongside Justin Timberlake. All the face-stamping and intern-fucking in the world is not going to turn you into Jack Nicholson after that. But at least he's trying.

13 comments:

  1. George part owns that coffee company. He's a smart fellow - he puts his face only on things he believes in or owns.

    Ox

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  2. You mean to say the title has no relevance at all?! Crikey. I'd slash the seats.

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  3. on point #9: the title is relevant, it just takes some knowledge of the u.s. political system to connect the dots. super tuesday, which generally falls at the beginning of march, is when the majority of states choose which politician they want to run for president in their particular party. given the major themes of betrayal in the film, the final scene takes on an obvious interpretation that the title merely steamrolls home.

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  4. George Clooney's face gets in the money. What about his cock & balls ! George Clooney has nothing to do with Brunei. He should wedge his cock in his mouth as he has no say & he cannot do anything helpful. Can Clooney help drop poverty in Sudan ? Apparently not. Has he done anything to get homeless people off the streets in Los Angeles ? With that "charm" of his, perhaps Clooney could charm his cock to rise up & wiggle about !!

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  5. Rather than slash the seats, why not wedge a coffee blender up George Clooney's arse ? Hot coffee 24/7 ! George Clooney looks forward to his homemade pizzas, which he keeps warm under his cock ! G. Clooney's idea is to rub shoulders with the Sultan of Brunei, who has 1000 fold wealth than Clooney ! G. Clooney, the Kentucky cockhead, should not meddle in what is of no concern to him. Like trying to show concern for Meghan Markle. Show concern for the impoverished & destitute. The British Royalty does NOT need that cunt(George Clooney). If George Clooney is that concerned, he should at least pay all Thomas Markle's medical bills & get Thomas a good house in California.

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  6. When George Clooney masturbates, shouldn't the world know ! ?
    Are we all having homemade pizzas tonight, George Clooney ? Or is it cats' arse & spare parts stew with lightly toasted bull's cock & balls !?

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  7. George Clooney said this, George Clooney said that. He is no Einstein but a filthy rich self centred cunt of an actor. He buys all those multimillion dollar mansions everywhere while millions are in poverty. Who lives in all Clooney's big mansions ? South Sudanese kids ? Homeless people ? Only for the very wealthy. Having $500 million & ignoring the destitute is, in a sense, a violation of human rights. By turning on that Clooney grin(about one of the stupidest looking ever!), throwing parties for his friends, inviting Brad Pitt etc. over for dinner is NOT going to help those in poverty. Might as well host the G. Clooney Cockstand Act & charge viewers $10,000/- for that. Eewww !! What a gory, ugly & hideous show that would be ! Even with that show, George Clooney will buy himself a brand new sports car with the money he gets ! Clooney has a typical Amerikanu face, with hidden cunt lips ! With that vibrator in his ass, George Clooney will be heard, loud & clear !

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  8. George Clooney could next be in his upcoming movie, The Violinist, where G.Clooney gives a live concert in Vienna. Seated in front of 10,000, G.C. will tie some arse & cock hairs from his groin to the tip of his dick, taut. Then Clooney will strum his "homemade violin", to the clapping of all present !

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  9. Human Rights would also include freedom from poverty as well. But George Clooney lives high on the hog while many of his neighbours live on the streets worldwide. He has all these multimillion dollar mansions worldwide. Yet, the 40,000 or so in Los Angeles, sleep rough. Perhaps in Government housing but still, many are in poverty. Clooney has $500 million. The people in South Sudan are not that fortunate.Many in Eastern Europe are living literally a hand to mouth existence. Perhaps it is George Clooney's right to acquire all those mansions as he is human too !! . G.Clooney is one big fucked up gay cunt, where he is the only one on the planet.

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  10. Hapsy Birdsday, George Arseman Clooney. Are you going to show the world your big screen cock & arse crack tomorrow ? Everybody wants to see your private parts too ! Especially your Big Victor up in front ! Let out a great big fart in Hollywood !

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  11. Homeless persons in London 12200. In Los Angeles, homeless people number 58000.
    George Clooney has 12 multimillion dollar mansions or even more. George Clooney gifts 14 of his wealthy friends a million dollars each in 2013 ! Isn't George Clooney a fuckin' cunt in that respect ? People with no food & shelter & this dumb arsehole gives away $14 million to well off friends ! G. Clooney has no spine. Only his cock.

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  12. G. Clooney is very lucky to have cheated death. He should not be that stupid not to watch where he is going. But as for now, his dented cock can reach his ass !
    And his balls were squashed right around his cock, & cooked like a pair of rissoles(not ass holes !). But Clooney farted hard, trying to straighten his cock out but nothing worked !

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  13. With Covid-19 attacking America left, right & centre, George Clooney can start buying masks, ventilators & donate to U.S. hospitals battling Covid-19. But that stupid cunt buys a $170,000/- cubby house for his kids instead ! Clooney masturbates & uses his cock as a trumpet ! Clooney professes his Catholic faith but practises nothing of it. Clooney's balls merely pirouette under his cock while he collects more money. George Clooney is a living definition of an arsehole !

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